The Head ( part 6)

Instead, they held their heads in their hands and started begging their gods, by making sacrifices and other rituals. The gods of my great grand parents were nothing but animals, bird or trees in the forest. And in spite all the many gods that my great grand parents had, they (those gods) were unable to come to the aide of my great grand parents, when they (my great grand parents) needed them and this was very pathetic and disappointing. However, since the God of Christians is always so kind and forgiving, he nevertheless came to the aide of my great grand parents, especially when he saw that, their problems was crumbling them down. In fact, my great grand parents were worshipping Satan the devil, for he has this great unrivalled capacity to disguise himself and make people think that, he is the true God. Satan attracted my great grand parents because; in some occasions, he selected a few people amongst them and bestowed them with powerful super natural or mystical powers. These selected few, had the demonic power to transform things and other objects. It was such powers that, Nyoglifanda had, for he could transform himself into a leopard.

Some selected few could even transform themselves into crocodiles or perform some positive as well as negative things. During my great grand parents period, people or some selected few, chosen by Satan and bestowed with mystical powers could performs things that, today, many people will not believe. But since I know that, this world is governed by Satan, I am equally aware that, he can operate many things. But when the White men came, they brought with them the bible, which is a book that has the teachings of God. But it was first written by men with God’s inspirations and secondly via the teachings of God’s son Jesus Christ. In fact, the book called the bible is divided into two parts: the old and new testaments. As the White men came with their book, which thought us the teachings of God. It was discovered by my great grand parents that, many things written in bible resembled what they already knew and it may explain why, even though they liked to hear the teachings about God’s son called Jesus Christ, they never wanted to abandon their own practices.

My great grand parents continued to have their amulets and continued to practise their rituals, because, they were gods that they could see and speak to directly. My great grand parent’s own gods were not an abstract God, as it is with that of the White men. But as time when by and the White men who came were not leaving but developing tap roots, my great grand parents had a revelation and in that, revelation, the spirits of the great grand parents of my great grand parents informed them that, the strangers who had come into their land won’t leave any more. It also informed them that, the world has changed and their own world was about to change. Hence, it instructed them to follow the teachings of the White men. But the spirit added that, they (my great grand parents) should follow the new teachings of the White men intelligently, for the spirit asked my great grand parents not to make the new teachings which is Christianity, brought by White men act on them like rain water does to palm wine in a calabash. My great grand parents followed to the letter the instructions of the spirits, which were in reality recommendations from their ancestors.

Hence, while they converted into Christianity, they never abandoned their ancestral worship. But my grand parents were not as intelligent as their parents, for they fell into the trap of the White men and abandon their ancestral god and took the new teachings of the White men as theirs. Some became even more zealous than White men. And since they became more zealous, they threw away their amulets, they stopped having shrines and they got baptized in the name of Jesus Christ. As a consequence of my grand parents’ abandonment of their ancestral traditions and worships, they were instantly punished. Some were kidnapped by foreigners and taken to foreign lands.
They could not do any thing because, they had no protections, for they could not transform themselves into trees, snakes, crocodiles to escape or frighten off their aggressors. They were vulnerable since they had become Christians, for they had to pray to the God of the White men not directly as before, but through the son of the God of White men called Jesus Christ. And my grand parents recalled in pains that, although, their parents and great grand parents were not Christians and were therefore not worshipping the God of Christians, brought to us via the White men, they had a far better life. Their country which was Bassa and Bassa Badem land was peaceful. It was not called Cameroon, because Cameroon is the name given to the assemblage of countries that existed on this part of the world by White men. What is Cameroon? It the name of a river call river Wouri.

But since the White men came many raining seasons ago or according to their own counting, in the year 1472. They had large canoes, which were 100 times bigger than that we have always fabricated, and one White man, leading others by name: Fernao do Po from Portugal, decided to call our river, the river of prawns. And from that name, came the name of what is called today Cameroon. But even the White men in all their intelligence, don’t still agree on who discovered and decided to change the way we were living. Some say the year when our river Wouri became known as the river of prawn was in 1440 and those who gave her that sort of name was still a Portuguese. Well, they are arguing on the exact year, but what I can’t understand is that, they are also disputing on whom first reached on our land. Some claim that, it was a Portuguese by name Fernao do Po, while others claim it was another Portuguese with a strange name: Henry the Navigator.

Perhaps his mother knew that, he will like to go to other peoples land, hence she gave him such a name. But the real name of the other man disputing the discovery of Cameroon was: Henrique, Duke of Viseu. It appears Henry the Navigator was just the sponsor of the expeditions or the father. But Henrique, Duke of Viseu was born on March 4th 1394 in Oporto, Portugal. He was a Prince and the third son of King John I, the founder of the Aviz dynasty and of Philippa of Lancaster, the daughter of John of Gaunt. Henry encouraged his father to conquer Ceuta in 1415, the Muslim port on the North African coast across the strait of Gibraltar from the Iberian peninsular . Rio dos Camaroes or the river of prawns is a funny name, for how is it possible that a county be named after food stuff? And prawns are even small foodstuffs that are eaten by crocodiles and fish in water. Our country was called Bassa and Bassa-badem land and we even allowed the Doualas to stay on our land and we decided to go in land because, the Doualas had no place to go. But I suspect the Doualas brought us these White men, for it appears they liked and followed them like a fly follows rotten beef.

All this I am telling you are what my grand parents told me. But since I am a Christian, I tend to doubt my grand parent’s story about the peacefulness of Bassa-Badem land, as also told them by their own parents. Because I can’t understand how people who did not fear God, the God of those of us who are Christians, can be better than us today, where Christianity has brought civilisation and hope for eternal life. Perhaps my country which I must insist was Bassa and Bassa-badem was best before it was amalgamated by those I have mentioned above and others from Europe, to produce what is today called Cameroon. Perhaps it was best because my great grand parents were receiving the help of our God, the God of Christians and also the help of their god, Satan via the woods and birds and other objects they considered as their god.

The Head ( part 5)

I will start my story all over. Why? Simply because, I have gone astray, but I think it was worth it, and you won’t get angry or even get lost. Look, within some nationalities in Cameroon, women are heads or command a lot of power and males or the husbands have limited roles. Their roles are confined to working hard and feed their respective families and defend their families from human and animal attacks. Hence I think that, even though we are Christians and are living in the world ruled by the style of White men, whenever there was a problem in our family; my father directed his anger not at us, but toward my or our mother. As far as we were concern, things had not changed as our ancestors had decided. We were walking on the tightrope that needed us to be excellent Christians, while also doing all we could not to renege on our ancestral traditions, especially as concerns the roles of males in the family structure. My or our father, also had another problem, he never knew our ages and whenever he took us to the hospital and whenever the nurse or the medical doctor asked him our ages, he told the nurse or the medical doctor that, if he/she could permit him, he can go home and ask our ages to our mother.

That was why, our mother made us to study by heart, the day, time, month and year that we were born, all this in an effort to spare my father of the regular disgrace. My mother considered that, it was a disgrace for a man not to know when his children were born. But my father did not take it that way, for he thought that, the knowing of ages and date/year of birth, were one of those things that, only women had the responsibility to know. My mother or our mother considered my father’s inability to know when we were born a disgrace. I like and love my father because; he is honest and very proud of my mother. My father always told me and my younger brothers and sisters or any other person, he saw or met that; my or our mother was behind his success. And it was true, for our mother was the accountant general and adviser of our father. Our mother was an extraordinary woman, a rare bird or the kind of women that Cameroon has almost lost today. My or our mother did everything with love and put us at the centre of her life.

I had always and will continue to love my or our mother because; she showed extraordinary love and affection toward us and toward our father. The strong affection and love that I have for my mother, I don’t think I can have same toward my wife. But I also think that, the love of a son toward her mother is a mathematical equation that is constant, for your mother will never in any circumstances let you down, but your wife can. There are many reasons why I love our mother besides the little I have mentioned above. But the first reason is that, the love that I have for my mother was nursed and fashioned out by my father. For how can’t I love my mother when my father or our father, spends time singing her praise? Because my or our father was full of praise toward our mother, some of his friends claimed that, our father must have been charmed mythically by our mother.

They said this because, there is a widely held notion in Cameroon and that, some people from the Nkam division and from Yabassi sub division in particular have help cultivate and nurse, which holds that, people from the Nkam were excellent mystics. It was a baseless claim and also a ruse sustained by people from the Nkam division, in order to gain influence wherever they go in Cameroon. Our mother’s only secret in the influence that she wielded over our father was that, she was honest and was also an excellent Christian. And because our father knew the secret, he confided to me that, I should pray God to give me an extraordinary woman who will be in the mould of our mother. The second thing and advice that our father put in my head was that, as a Christian, I must also married a God fearing Christian girl and the third recommendation from my father or our father was that, I must not hurry up in life.

I must observe the way any Christian girl I love dresses up and the kind of papers she read. My father also warned me not to read popular left leaning newspapers, for they are vehicles of immoralities. And all the advice I got from my or our father, made me to be different from my friends and I also think, it will also create me problems in our current world, where Christians and Christian values are not accepted. The way my father fashioned me out, made my relationship with girls frosty, for they considered me to be arrogant and insensitive.

And my male friends, especially those of my age, considered me boring and some even called me names. As I grew up, I also found out that, things were difficult with my colleagues at my work place and the only places, were I found solace and comfort were in my house, the Christian congregation or through writing, blogging, reading newspapers and the bible. Some times, my comfort came from Tennis courts and when I had my children, they became my other sources of comforts.

I considered all the difficulties that I went through as persecution and the price that, Christians had to pay in order to live in this devilish world of ours. More so, deep in my mind, I knew I was the first born and had the immense responsibility to be exemplary. I never wanted to give any opportunity to any of my younger ones to err under the guise that they copied of my wrong steps. Anyway, the rigid and conservative way that I was brought up and the code of conduct that my father gave me made me to have the kind of woman that, I have always wanted. She responded word for word to my father’s recommendations for a good wife and above all, she was at the image of my mother. This is too much already, I have presented myself to you and I am yet to tell you the story of Risdoh. In fact all what I am telling was not what I wanted to. But as you already know, and I am repeating it, this is all about the story of Risdoh. But before I bring you the story of Risdoh proper, I want to tell you a different short story again. I promise that, after this short story is over, I will narrate the life of Risdoh. As you now know, I am a Christian.

I was born a Christian and will die a Christian and my family are Christians. My grand parents were also Christians, but my great grand parents were not Christians. And I really do pity them, for I don’t how their own fate with God is. Are they in the good books of God? Where are they? Are they in hell or in heaven? But does hell or heaven do even exist? Will they be resurrected when God’s kingdom comes? I don’t really have any answers to all those or these questions. But one thing is certain, even though I don’t know my great grand parents, I love them and since God is a loving God, he must certainly have a plan for my late great grand parents. My Great grand parents were god’s worshippers, but most painful of all is that, their god was a false one. Their God I am very sure was made up out of a cocktail of several objects and completed with the inevitable works of carvings called mask.

And saddest of all was that, those things and objects that my great grand parents’ worshiped could not even help them in case they confronted problems, as they abound in the world. Most often, it is certain that, it was our own God, that is, the God of those us who Christians, who came to the aide of my late great grand parents. And worst, after our Christian God has helped my great grand parents, instead of thanking him, they will thank their gods made out of objects, courtesy ritualistic sacrifices. Because of the ungratefulness of my great grand parents, our God, that is the God of those of us who are Christians but who reside in heaven, will be very angry. And to manifest his anger, our Christian God will allow many bad things to happen to my great grand parents. But since my great grand parents could not understand the source of the entire malediction which befell on them, they never knew what to do to right their wrongs.

The Head ( part 4)

If I am not exemplary or act in an exemplary manner, that is, by waking up to read the bible and pray with my parents, my younger brothers and sisters won’t and my father in particular, will be sad to read the bible all alone. And that day, he will go to work without singing or whistling as he always does, whenever he is happy. I will be sad, my father, my brothers and sisters will also be sad. Why? The reason is simply because, we all love our parents. And whenever we fail to wake up, my father accuses my mother of spoiling us. I have always questioned why my father felt that, if we were refusing to wake up, it was the fault of my or our mother. But as I grew up, I began to understand that, as Bassa-badems, mothers are the central shaft of the family. This did not or has not changed even though we are Christians.

And Christianity puts the man as head of the family and prime law maker. In the Cameroons, or in parts of it, mothers are the owners of children and they are also the ones who control the family. But it is a sacrilege in other parts of Cameroon, for women, to wield the kind of power they have in the Bassa and Bassa-Badem lands. Even in these lands, the powers of women are stronger in the Nkam division and within Nkam division, amongst the Bassa-Badem land, than all over Cameroon. First, before elaborating on the story that, I want to tell you, because I made the promise, I will like to tell you a little bit more about the Bassa-Badem nationalities, that some Cameroonians and their White friends who have read a lot of books, still call tribe. The people of Bassa-Badem are in fact part of the Greater Bassa nation. And in the Bassa nation, there are many other nationalities who speak different languages from the real Bassas and the reason is because, since the Bassas left Israel, and started wandering down south, they have settled in many places that had other nationalities with their own languages.

This has influence the way Bassa is being spoken currently. And because some Bassas also wanted to create their own countries, they decided to change the way they spoke in order to appear different. And some times, it was a subterfuge to escape capture from stronger nations. Bassas are found in most parts of Africa. I understand that, they are also located in Liberia and in Nigeria, in the plateau state, and there, there is even a local government called Bassa local government. Capitals of two Caribbean nations namely: Guadeloupe and Saint Kit & Nevis are called Basse-Terre. Why? Simply because, most slaves taken from West Africa and settled there, were of Bassa nationality, thus the slavers decided to call those two capitals Basse-Terre. But most can’t speak the Bassa language any more because, the slavers vicious and malicious as they were, decided to mix up black Africans, in order to avoid slaves from the same region to foment trouble as a group of Congolese slaves attempted ones in the United States. I am going to stop here because; I have gone too far out of topic. But I want you all to know that, nationals of the Greater Bassa nations were not the only nationalities taken to slavery.

The other ones were the Igbos, the Yorubas and people of the interior Grass field, who are now referred to in Cameroon as the Bamilekes. But you have to understand that, all the latter nationalities had had their own nations and considered others who could not speak their language as foreigners. It explains why slavery was a success. But it was another group of foreigners who came and decided to create what is called today Cameroon or Nigeria. And in what is today called Cameroon, those who caught and sold the Bassas and the Grass field people known today as the Bamilekes, and who now speak either English or French, where the Doualas and Efiks nationals. The Doualas caught too many Bassas during wars and sold them to White people and when the Bassas started running into the forest, the Doualas followed them and discovered that, in the forest, there existed other nations known as the Betis and beyond them, was the Bamilekes. The Bamilekes live in an intermediate land called Grass field, but how they began being called Bamileke is a mystery to me.

But all I know is that, people who live in that intermediate region between the forest and savannah are called Grass field people. The Douala caught a lot of Bamilekes, because, their numbers were large, they were hard working and never wanted to fight or run away. The Doualas are a nationality who came from the former Congo kingdom. They ran away because, their former kingdom was at war. And as they came in their canoes, they decided to settle around the sea, mostly because, they were strangers and fishermen. Their friends were the Efiks who also were water people. They like fishing and because these two nations were near water, they had constant contacts with White people and got guns and other weapons that those in the interior never had. They were superior and malicious than indigenous nations such as the Bassas, the Bamilekes, the Betis and the Igbos. But in the Grass field, there existed other slaving nations; they were the Balis and the Bamous and Nso nations. The last two are in fact the same nations with different names. But the three are Tikary people.

While the Doualas were operating in Bassa and Bamileke lands, the Efik were operating in both Igbo and Bamileke lands and helping the Doualas to conquer as many Betis, Bassas and Bamilekes as possible in order to sell to their White friends. Today, the Efiks are found in Cameroon and in Nigeria, while the Doualas are only found in Cameroon and their cousins are found in the two Congos. Look, this story is too complicated. I will please want to stop. I wanted to tell you about the Bassa-Badem. As I was telling you, they are in reality Bassas, but since they left Israel when the Roman Empire destroyed Jerusalem, they have been wandering, and their languages have in the process been modified. That is why; you will discover that, there are some fundamental differences between the Bassa and the Bassa-Badem languages. The Bassa-Badem language also has own variances. Remember, if I have not told you before, the Bassa-Badem nationality is the largest in the Nkam division.

They are present in the three sub divisions that make up the Nkam division, namely: Yabassi, Yingui and Nkongdjock (route of the elephant). And as I have already told you, the Bassa-Badem language is different from Bassa-Bassa and within the Bassa –Badem language, there are variances. The way the Bassa-Badem language is spoken in Yabassi sub division, is a little bit different from the way she is spoken in the Yingui sub division, while the way she is spoken in Yingui is also a little bit different from the way she is spoken in the Nkongdjock sub division. The first Bassa-badem language or that spoken in Yabassi sub division, is closer to Bassa and Douala languages, while the second or that spoken in Yingui sub division, is closer to the Banen language and the third Bassa-Badem or that spoken in Nkongdjock sub division, is closer to Bang language and some Bamileke languages, such as Bafang.

It must also be made clear that, while the Bassas or the Bassa-Badem were caught by the Doualas and the Efiks and sold to White people as slaves, most Bassas and Bassa-Badems also began doing the same thing and that is why today in Cameroon, the Doualas (the master slavers), the Bassas, the Bassa-Badems and the Betis, who were first victims of slavery, consider the Bamilekes or people of the Grass field of Cameroon as slaves. In fact, all coastal nationalities of Cameroon think that, people from the Grass field are inferior, but while they are thinking of the past, the people of the Grass field have grown stronger economically and intellectually than people of the coast.

The Head (part 3)

Ndockpoh is a smaller village while Yabassi is bigger and she (Yabassi) is the capital of the Nkam division. Even though I am a Southern Cameroons and I speak and write English, and I am equally proud to be a citizen of the Commonwealth with the Queen of England as Head of state, I know where both parts of my families originated. It is very important for me. Now, in the village of Ndockpoh, people speak various languages. The dominant ones are Bassa, Bassa-Badem, Bang, Nyokonne and Bodiman. The people of Ndockpoh and the whole of the Nkam division have three religions: Protestant, Roman Catholic and traditional believes. And unlike other nationalities (tribes in greater Cameroons if you wish), in Ndockpoh and also in Yabassi, women are the ones who control the family. Their family structure is matrilineal or matriarchal. It is the same case with some Bassa nationalities in the Nyong and Kelle, Sanaga maritime and Wouri divisions located in the Centre and Littoral provinces of French-speaking Cameroon.

While the people of Bassa and Bassa-Badem nationalities in both Southern Cameroons and French-speaking Cameroon are matriarchal, most nationalities constituting the twin Cameroonian nations are patriarchal. In matriarchal nations, Children belong to the women as it is the case with the Bassa-badems or Bassas. Children whose mothers are from one of those two nationalities know that, they are Bassa-badems or Bassas. But it is not the same case with other nationalities in the region. The people of Ndockpoh and Yabassi claim that, women were the ones who served them and also that, only a woman knows the true father of the child she carry’s, hence, they own the child they bring forth, in order not to create disputes and conflicts in the village, in case the woman cheated, and also to maintain good family bond.

Nyoglifanda as I promised to tell you about, was a great hunter and famous. It was even rumoured that, the man claimed to be his father was not his real father or biological father. But he was fathered by the friend of his father because, Nyoglifanda’s real father could not bring forth children and in order to assure his ancestry and make sure that, the name of his ancestors does not disappear from the surface of the earth, when he dies, he asked his friend to help him out. Nyoglifanda grew up and assured his father by getting married and had children and his father died with his mind at peace. But he was hunter and was nicknamed the killer of Tigers and had a number of rings round his ears, indicating the number of felines he has killed. Nyoglifanda was a real male and he was needed in the village at a time when, felines strode into huts which were constructed with palm fronds and devoured people willy-nilly.

But felines ran away just as the sensed or perceived the scent of Nyoglifanda. He was so strong that, he killed some felines with his own hands. It was also rumoured that, the reasons why Nyoglifanda was that strong was because, he had inherited the totems of his two fathers: official and unofficial one. The official one had the totem of a crocodile while the unofficial had the totem of a leopard, for Tigers are not found in Cameroon or in the entire African continent. But some specialists of such science also claimed that, it was impossible for Nyoglifanda to be so powerful, if he was initiated into the supernatural sphere only by his two fathers. They claim that, children initiated by their father into the world of the spirits are not very powerful, because only women are tied to the child or children they carry, courtesy the umbilical cord. The specialists of supernatural science added that, only those initiated by their mothers grew up to become as powerful as Nyoglifanda was. Thus they argued that, the mother of Nyoglifanda must have had both totems or even had her own special one, which she passed onto her son at birth.

Some explained or justified their claims by pointing out that, because Ndibe (water), the name of the mother of Nyoglifanda, wanted to initiate her son, hence she gave birth alone in the bush and stayed there, for seven long days. The way Nyoglifanda put on his ear rings was not according to the abusive ways that some very weak males or some who are referred to as males don them today. But Nyoglifanda was born at a time when the White men came and most of what he wanted to do was banned by White men and White men also brought their own new styles. Hence when he discovered that any sort of male was putting on ear rings, he decided to remove his. For he felt it was an insult to him, his clan and his ancestors. Here, I will stop; I do not want to tell the story of Nyoglifanda, the famous Tiger killer of Ndockpoh and Yabassi any longer. Nyoglifanda was not only a famous hunter, he could transform into a crocodile and cross the Nkam river from bank to the other and even sail down to Douala, via the river Wouri. No, I have exposed a lot and I will truly stop here.

The story I want to tell you about is that of Risdoh. And before I could continue, the head of this story about Risdoh is: A White man or nothing. The other thing that I will want you all to know is that, I have suffered very much in my life and I have seen many things equally. What made me to suffer was that, I had long left my home, my parents, my village and my totems. I am therefore naked and vulnerable like Adam and Eve, when God created them in the Garden of Eden before they sinned and discovered their nakedness. And every night when I am sleeping, I keep on dreaming about my father, my mother and my totems keep on troubling me. The worst part in all these is that, I don’t know when I will take my eyes to see all those precious things I have lost. Now you all know why I said I have suffered and I am still suffering. Now get ready for the story of Risdoh. I have already told you that, the head or if you wish, the title of this story is a white man or nothing. I will repeat it, for that is how I have decided to call this story and you will understand why very soon. I am not drunk so please don’t even try to laugh. But before the story of Risdoh, this last little story before the big one.

You all know very fine or very well that, I don’t drink alcohol, because, alcohol and I, is like fire and water. The second always triumphs over the first. Should I take just a glass alcohol, music starts playing in my brain, even if there is no music playing. And when it starts, I must mange to go home and sleep and while going home, I make two requests to God via prayers. The first not to vomit in the taxi that will taxi me home and when home, I should not meet my mother by the door side or in the living room, waiting for me like a bouncer. For my mother’s nose is very sharp, the least pint alcohol in you, she scents it. And if God accepts my requests that day, I won’t confront my two greatest fears, when I reach home. I will therefore go straight to my room and dive on my bed without removing my shoes or my shirt or trouser.

In case God decides to play prolongation or decides to honour other pressing requests, as he receives them round the clock, after passing my two primary fears, my mother will come into my and starts talking and I hate that very much. But that is not good behaviour from me, but what can I do? I am tired. I will wake up in the morning not by own will, but that of my father. He will wake us up by 5:30 AM to read the bible and pray before preparing to go to school, for my father doesn’t worry getting us up that early because, he knows or thinks that, we went to bed by 7:30 am. At times, when I hear the marching feet of my father in the lobby, I get very angry and pretend to be deeply sleeping. But since I love and respect my parents and don’t want my father to start quarreling with mother that early morning, I will wake up. For if I don’t, my brothers and sisters won’t and the other reason why I woke up early to read the bible and pray with my parents was because, since I am the first son , I must be exemplary.

The Head (part 2)

But talented as stories tellers were, they were not popular with every one, for they stole fame from people who deserve fame such as hunters and soldiers. Another thing that created anger and jealousy toward story tellers was that; they created a new profession. For there were some people who after farm work, instead of staying at home with their wives and children, they start roving around from village to village in search of story tellers. Whenever the sighted one, they club around and listen to the story teller until he or she finishes and they will give their verdict as though they were very intelligent. These groups of errant men and women became popular to a point, where famous story tellers won’t offer a word, if they don’t see them around. One thing that particularly angers the others with those errant men and women who have arrogated to themselves the right to rule on the beauty, honesty and originality of stories was that, after deciding that, a story teller has respected the tripartite points needed for a good story, they will cheer or boo the story teller and worst ask for Palm wine.

Naturally they were so bright to ask for Palm wine not for themselves, but to others. They hide behind the crowd and claim that, those who have laboured to seat and listen will want to wash down their throats, a polite way of asking to be rewarded for having wondered around like the devil in search for some one to deceive. But whenever I think at those wanderers who wandered from one village to the other in search of those who have stories to tell, and also take upon themselves the responsibility or right to judge whether the stories were good or not, I compare them with the modern literary critics of the world the White men brought to us. In fact, I suspect that, even though we could not write or never had the trappings of White people, we nonetheless had the same things like the White men. The famous judge of story tellers in my village which is not located in Southern Cameroon’s was by name: Look-at-the-bush. Look-at-the-bush was a hard working man who had a small portion to farm on.

He was not married and had no child, many reasons to be regarded by others with suspicions. But he was not liked by the famous hunters and soldiers. Why? Because immediately he came back from the farm, he took to his heels and started roving or some famous story tellers came in search of him, because , Look-at-the-bush or in my language: Bonnkwaha had become an authority. He was even consulted by the king of Ndockpoh whenever he wanted to select a story teller to thrill his guests. Bonnkwaha is the one who added innovations in Ndockpoh and Yabassi even as far as Douala and Nsonglolo to story telling. In fact in the entire Bassa and Bassa-Badem land. He said a good story teller must also know how to sing and know the ancestral linage of the Royal family. That is from Jacobo to King Laban, the king of Ndockpoh. For Bonnkwaha always said a good descendant of Logyuda (as must tribes around Ndockpoh consider themselves), must not know only how to tell stories, he/she must know where he/she/they originated. His innovations sent most story tellers out of business and allowed most those of his clan. Well, I will stop here and focus on the story that, I want to share with you. But before stopping to give you the real story, this is another. In our village called Ndockpoh which is near a bigger village called Yabassi, there existed a famous hunter called Nyoglifanda.

Before telling you the brief story of Nyoglifanda, I want to situate where Ndockpoh and Yabassi are located on earth. These two localities are located in a West African country called Cameroon. But in Cameroon, besides the 240 nationalities or tribes as White people and other educated people like to call the aboriginals who live in Cameroon and in other parts of Africa, there exist two regions that speak two different languages: English and French. Ndockpoh and Yabassi are located in the French-speaking part of Cameroon in a province called Littoral and in a division called Nkam. Ndockpoh is a smaller village while Yabassi is bigger and it is the capital of the Nkam division.

The head

After a lot of contemplations on how to start this story of mine, that, most of all, I want to share with you; I still didn’t have a head for it. What is a head? Or what has a head got to do with a story? Some of you may have asked. And if you have asked such a question, then, I will conclude that, you are not a Southern Cameroonian. Ah, Southern Cameroon doesn’t exist, for the wise men and women at Turtle bay New York, which is the seat of the monster called the United Nations Organisation (UN), albeit with the complicities of Southern Cameroonian leaders and the British, decided to deny us an independent homeland. Now, I don’t want to write about politics, for when you start it never ends. But just know that, Southern Cameroons doesn’t exist. She died on the 1^st of October 1961. But since she was very important to our fathers and now to some us, I will tell you about it at some point.

In our Southern Cameroonian English, well, in our English-speaking Cameroonian English region, since Southern Cameroons in now part of greater Cameroons, whenever one wants to tell a story, the story must be complete. That is, it must have a head, body and the feet. In your Standard English or that which was brought and taught to our parents, who in turn pass it down to us, a story is ruled complete only if it has the introduction, the body and the conclusion. But since we are independent, I don’t always want to speak English or write it according to the British instructions; I received from my father then at school. But are we really independent? When in 1961, we or British Cameroon’s was to gain her independence by either reunifying with French Cameroon or integrating with Nigeria? Well, it is beyond me, I promised not to come to this political stuff at this stage of this story.

Why was I mentioning about the absence of a head to my story that I want to share with you? It is simply because in my country, Cameroon, when you want to tell a story, it must have all the three important parts of a human being. That is the head, the body and the feet. But we are not rigid, with story tellers in English-speaking Cameroon. That is, your story must not always start from the head to the foot. It can start as you want or have only one part. But you must know that, a human being that is not complete must have either committed a crime or his parents did not respect the traditions, hence God decided to strike them and their offspring. This simply means that, in case a story teller has a story that is incomplete and still wants by all courses to share it, the people will accept, but the story teller will have to pay. He/she, yes, women, always have nice stories to tell, especially when they are happy or if she is in love.

I was talking about payment for an incomplete story. The payment is at least 10 litres of palm wine. Our Palm wine is like your Red wine gotten from grapes planted in your vineyards. But ours in Cameroon is gotten from palm trees that grow in the wild in bushes. Palm wine is white and sugary, when young or newly harvested or newly tapped by a man called a Palm wine taper. But Palm wine turns sour or bitter as it gets older. Some people like it when it is bitter because it has fermented and the level of alcohol has grown or developed. Well palm wine is just like human beings. When we are young, we are always sweet and happy, but as we grow older, we become wicked and always find faults in everything we see.

The litre of palm wine is not a punishment but a reward to all those who laboured to listen to your incomplete story. However, if your story is complete. That is, it had the head, the body and the feet, you become an instant hero. He/she will get drunk of all the palm wine he/she will be given by the audience. If the story teller is a man, he will have many parents proposing their daughters for marriage and some married women making advances. And if the story teller is a woman, she will have many boys and men trooping to her like bees on the hive.